If your idea of a perfect New Year's Eve is dozing off by 9:45pm, let Lucy Sweet convince you why going to a NYE event is MUCH better than staying in...
1. TV is terrible
The NYE TV schedule is full of awkward new year’s knees-ups and news round-ups that were obviously recorded on a Wednesday afternoon in August. Instead of WATCHING people have fun, show ’em how it’s done and have a bangin’ night at Detonate in Sheffield or PROJEKT in Leeds, dancing until your eyeballs pop out and the cleaner has to mop you up off the floor the next morning.
2. New Year parties are a nightmare
You might decide to invite a few friends round to welcome in the new year, but be warned. They will drink all your egg nog, leave dubious stains on your carpet and try to get off with the Christmas tree. If you go to Club de Fromage in Islington, however, you get to dance to loads of great tunes of the cheesy variety, and you don’t even have to wipe brie off your laptop the next day. And there’s a MEAT PIE raffle. What more do you want?
3. Pubs are full of amateurs
Who wants to stand six-deep at the bar, having their foot stood on by a stiletto, and getting shunted by a hairy, fake-tanned gym ape who smells of Lynx gift set? Nobody, that’s who. Especially when you could be at GBX NYE in Glasgow, taking in the state-of-the-art light show and riding a neon unicorn to heaven. Or having a good old indie shuffle at Jelly Baby up the road. You are a professional party animal – show those cats how it’s done…
4. Save your social life by getting tickets in advance
There’s nothing worse than getting a load of texts on the afternoon of the 31st of December weedily asking ‘Are you up to anything tonight?’ Nail that final night out of the year early on. There’s nothing like the smug pleasure of knowing you’ve got tickets to see Noisia, Camo & Krooked and Friction drop drum ’n’ bass fun nuggets all over your head when the bells ring in Brixton. Beat that, Jools!
5. You can treat yourself
Instead of ransacking your Christmas Quality Street tub again (bagsy the purple ones), a night out at Birmingham's Chocolate Factory is the golden ticket for new year’s eve. There’s a free candy and a chocolate fountain! So give your inner Oompa a sweet end to the year. Otherwise you’re a Willy Wonka.
6. Your night out might CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Why, who is that enigmatic, masked individual coming towards you at the Ramshackle MasqueRave Ball in Bristol? Could it be a handsome German prince? A rock star in disguise? The bloke who works in Londis? Keep the mystery alive, and hope the mask doesn’t slip at midnight…
7. It’s all about that bass
New Year’s should cause a rumble in the jungle. It will if you go to One Nation in Bournemouth or SWITCH in Oxford. Instead of starting the new year off with whimper, start it with an earthquake at an amazing drum and bass night. Accept no treble (unless we’re talking about the drinks)…
8. You can revel in nostalgia
Remember when rock was young? Remember when you went completely deaf leaning against a speaker while Kurt Cobain trashed his guitar because you were a young idiot in a pair of stripy tights and manky para boots with no regard for your health? (Just me, then?) Relive the golden days of the Mayfair, Newcastle’s legendary rock venue, at their barnstorming New Year reunion. (Manky para boots optional.)
9. You will be HARDCORE
The rest of your friends have nodded off while Jools performs ‘Santa Baby’ with a troupe of Guatemalan bongo players. But you’ll have your hands in the air like you just don’t care at One Big NYE in Leicester, dancing like a deranged kangaroo to happy hardcore while lasers shoot out of your eyes. Who’s going to have the best 2016? YOU, obviously! Happy new year!