If music is the food of love, why do we always spend Valentine’s Day holding hands over a tepid plate of spag bol in a crap Italian restaurant? Instead, we could be bouncing around in a club, smooching at a gig, or LOL-ing at some comedy. So do your other half a favour and put a rocket under this most romantic of nights. Here are a few saucy ideas from our very own cupid, Lucy Sweet.
1. Like it hot? No problem…
Some Like It Hot is a movie which has everything – cross dressing, romance, mafia shoot-outs, Marilyn Monroe playing a ukelele. Go to Club Noir’s Some Like It Hot Valentine’s Ball in Glasgow on V-Day and find your inner silverscreen goddess. The only argument you face is: which one of you is going to be Marilyn?
2. Earn some CASH
Johnny Cash and June Carter were the most enduringly loved-up couples in country music. So instead of both suffering a Ring of Fire thanks to the local curry house, go celebrate the Man in Black at CASH at O2 Academy Newcastle. This eerily convincing tribute act will send you both on a spectacular journey down the Rock Island Line via the Sea of Heartbreak and the Big River (but hopefully not stopping at Folsom Prison).
3. Send a love Telegram
London four piece Telegram look as though they’ve been round to Crosby, Stills and Nash’s house and stolen their moustaches and flowery shirts in anticipation for their Valentine’s Day show in The Scholar, O2 Academy Leicester. In short, they’re skinny, cool rock gods in shades and their vintage rawk will spice up your night and make your flares flap with joy. Corr, as ’70s sex symbol Sid James used to say.
4. Go to Marz (via Oxford)
John Grant has one of those haunting, heartbreaking voices that couples go mad for. He’s like a walking, bearded magic moment. His songs would make even a WWE wrestler called Barry ‘The Crusher’ Bagshaw crumple into a heap of sentimental man tears. So go along to his gig at O2 Academy Oxford and let the beauty wash over you. *blub*
5. Have a reggae Valentine
Lovers rock reggae is all about the slow smoochy vibe, so get down to the O2 Academy Birmingham for Sanchez and Romain Virgo, who will expertly create the conditions for LURVE. Please don’t wear red, gold and green pants in bed, though – that’s taking it too far.
6. Be swayed by Suede at O2 Academy Leeds
If you’re not moved by Brett Anderson in an open-necked silk shirt singing swoonsome songs about sexy doomed youth, then you don’t have a pulse. GET IN.
7. Get totally emo
V-Day is totes emosh, and nothing is more emo than a band called The World is A Beautiful Place And I am No Longer Afraid To Die, in the intimate O2 ABC2 Glasgow. Put on your eyeliner and let it all out – you’ll feel much better in the morning. (If you’re still together.)
8. Consider the alternative (scene)
If flowers and chocolates aren’t your bag, headbang your way through the most romantic weekend of the year at AFTRMTH at O2 Academy Newcastle. Playing everything from Metallica and Slipknot to Marilyn Manson, the closest you’ll get to V-Day will be moshing away to Bullet For My Valentine.
9. Laugh at Professor Elemental in Leicester
Professor Elemental is not a real professor. (Hopefully.) But that shouldn’t stop you from taking your better half to see his insane hip-hop songs, usually delivered with a scone on the side, in The Scholar, O2 Academy Leicester. He raps about tea, banana fritters, his orangutan companion and trouser malfunctions. (Warning: If you’re going on a first date, make sure ‘GSOH’ is at the top of their Tinder profile…)
10. Go underground at the House of Silk
Fancy some sexy underground house? Yeah, you do! Get close to your hot date at the House of Silk Valentine’s Special at O2 Academy Islington and dance yourself dizzy to their merciless DJs who will put you both in a spin. Dress code is sexy casual (but that doesn’t mean a bra and a egg-stained Slanket, ok?) Happy Valentine’s!